How To Love

i'm twenty one this year... i guess i have know what is love... i interacted with many peoples... and i don't get any of them suitable for me... i felt ... like i comfortable with somebody... once... but i know in the end that all of that is fake...
he come's with a mask.. that i couldnt recognize at first.... i honestly believe in him... really.. really like him... when he asked me.. i always be there for him.. whatever he contacted me... but he become strange.... he gave me hopes... but at after all throwin them around... he always wanna know how do i feel about him... whom i love... what i wanted about boy... making shit like he wanted me .... he talked that i he wanted to write my name on his hearth.... all he doing is giving a shit...then.. one day i realize the fairytale wasnt for me.....

and so... i've come from unwanted home... a home where all of shit coming around... dad who rejected us, mom who live in her own world, and a psycho brother who like to bully and kick us...
if i have a choice... i choose a better family that feel to have each other....
but its life.... we cant choose where we come... but we choose future.....

and i know my life wastn a fairytale....

im not rich, im not coming from a high social status, im not smart... and i a'int beautiful...all i can do is make myself useful....